I was on a call with an old friend of mine, Bryan, and as these things often go, we got to discussing the nature of the world and how life is evolving. Our conversation spiraled into something both philosophical and practical, as we landed on a shared conclusion - knowing yourself is one of the most important steps to safeguarding your mental well-being. There’s a certain peace that comes from understanding your limits, your boundaries, and what you can and can’t control. And let me tell you, the idea of “control what you can” has been a guiding quote for me these past few months. It’s a simple, almost cliché phrase, but it carries weight, especially in this chaotic world where so much seems beyond our grasp.
The origin of this thought is straightforward: Why waste energy on things you have no influence over? Realistically, the only thing you can control is what you do and how you react. Other people’s perceptions of your actions, their judgments, and their responses - those are outside your control. It sounds liberating, right? Just do you, and let the world be. But after more thought, I’ve come to realize that while this holds true in many cases, it’s not an absolute. That’s where the knowledge of your community comes in.
It’s one thing to focus on how you react, but it’s another to understand that your actions live in a social context. People are different, and yes, they will have varying reactions to the same action. While it’s tempting to say, “I’ll just be me, and if others can’t handle it, that’s their problem,” we must also recognize that the way others perceive us can affect our peace of mind. It takes nothing from you to switch up a phrase when talking to someone more sensitive than average, just as it takes nothing from them to do the same for you. It might feel like extra work - being mindful of how others might react - but in the long run, if we all took a moment to consider each other’s perspectives, we’d be spared unnecessary stress. And let’s face it, life is tough enough without miscommunications or unintended offense chipping away at your peace of mind.
So, how do we put this into practice? Start small. When engaging with others, pause for a second and think about their personality. Is this someone who responds better to direct communication, or do they need a softer approach? Adjusting doesn’t mean losing yourself; it means creating an environment where mutual respect can thrive, allowing you to maintain your peace while preserving theirs. It’s a give-and-take that benefits everyone in the long run.
Here’s the thing, though: It’s not going to be perfect. There will be days when you mess up, when your emotions get the better of you, or when you find it difficult to maintain that balance between self-awareness and community awareness. And that’s okay. Just like the saying goes, “Rome wasn’t built in a day, but they were laying bricks every hour.” Every mindful interaction, every bit of self-reflection, is another brick in the foundation of your mental well-being. Over time, the effort will pay off, and you’ll find that sweet spot where you know yourself, you know your community, and in turn, you know your peace.
P.S, Now I have to coin a new saying or an extended version of my favorite saying;
"Control what you can, and how it can affect your community"