I've never taken the time to write down my plans for the new year or to reflect on the events of the one that’s just ending. For a long time, I relied on memory to keep track of my tasks and goals. That worked for a while, but I've come to realize that memory can play tricks on us. More often than not, I find myself thinking, “If only I had noted that down, I would have remembered to do <fill the blank>.” So, I figured it was time to write things down.
Let me backtrack to November 1, 2023, the day my son was born. His due date had already passed, and labor had to be induced. We arrived at the hospital in the morning, but by evening, it seemed he was reluctant to leave his mother's womb. His vital signs eventually slowed down, and the doctor advised that it was time for a C-section. The moments leading up to the surgery were incredibly stressful, and I worried that something might go wrong with either my wife or our son. My nerves were on edge. Once the surgery preparations were completed, everything unfolded quickly. Soon, the doctor was calling me behind the curtain and holding my son up for me to see. He was beautiful.
The first few months were a mix of wonder, fear, learning, and coping with fatigue. Not long ago, I couldn't imagine myself as a father, and now I was living that reality. It has been a wonderful experience, but it hasn't come without challenges. However, the difficulties have been worthwhile, much like anything good in life. I spent countless nights barely sleeping, yet I smiled countless times just by looking at him. Having family around to help has been priceless, and I was fortunate to have extended leave from work to be there for both my wife and my son. Many don’t have that opportunity, and for that, I am truly grateful.
In January 2024, we took a trip to Brazil to visit my parents. Our baby was only two months old and was already traveling abroad, which is remarkable—something I didn't do until I was 24! Our first stop was in Rio for a brief vacation as a family of three. I had been there a few times before, but it was their first visit. We explored the touristy spots, including Christ the Redeemer, Sugarloaf Mountain, and Copacabana.
However, I had one of the biggest scares of my life while visiting the botanical gardens. We were attacked by either bees or wasps—I’m not entirely sure which. I believe they were stirred up by monkeys that roam freely in the area. Out of nowhere, my wife dropped the phone she was taking pictures with and started jumping and screaming. A second later, I felt stings around my neck and upper body. Since I was pushing the stroller with my kid, my first instinct was to run away with it. Soon after, he began to cry. I eventually stopped running, still surrounded by a swarm of wasps, and took my son out of the stroller. He had been stung twice on the head and was in a lot of pain. I couldn't believe what had just happened. We were lucky that the stroller was partially covered, protecting him from the sun. Thankfully, he did not have any allergic reactions, and after a visit to the hospital, he was safe and sound. It could have turned tragic—knock on wood!
On a lighter note, I had one of the best meals I can remember having. I took my wife to a two-Michelin-star restaurant for her birthday. I couldn’t care less about dining in a fancy restaurant, but it was her 30th birthday, and I wanted it to be special. It truly was. The food was excellent, and the night was perfect—one of those once-in-a-lifetime moments.
The remainder of the trip was spent with family. I was thrilled to see my little sister graduate and become a doctor. Everyone was delighted to see us, especially the little one. They were surprised by how much he smiled. He’s going to be quite the bon vivant! Given our travel itinerary and the vastness of the country, we made the crazy decision to go on a 1,000 km road trip in just 3-4 days toward the end. In retrospect, I wouldn’t recommend that with a baby of that age! 😅
I returned to work in March and didn't realize how helpful having family around was until they were no longer there. I found that I wasn't fully prepared to juggle parenting and work responsibilities. The baby wasn’t sleeping through the night, and that wouldn’t change for a few months. Recklessly, I decided to take on a big project at work right from the start, and by the end of the month, I was completely burned out. I’m grateful that I shared my struggles with my team and my wife, who were very supportive. I realized that I needed to take a step back, share the workload, and ask for help instead of trying to carry all the weight myself.
In April, I reintroduced exercise into my routine, working out twice a week while also taking my son for strolls during lunch breaks. I attended a Queens of the Stone Age concert for the second time within a year, and it was even better than the first. I was trying to get back to a more normal life. I experienced a total solar eclipse for the first time. That was wild! We also began visiting a few daycares in preparation for when my wife would return to work.
May was much like April. I participated in my first pair programming session with an Internet stranger. As an introvert with some social anxiety, I was hesitant at first. While I had paired with colleagues at work before, this was my first experience with someone I didn't know. Despite my own awkwardness, pairing with Ben was enjoyable and encouraged me to try it with others. Throughout the year, I teamed up with a few more people, including Simon, Liam, and Chris. It was great to learn a bit about them and see the projects they were working on. I plan to continue pairing through 2025.
This brings me to a shift toward being more proactive in meeting new people and expanding my network. I have never been one to post or interact much on social media. I spent most of my time consuming what others were doing, which led to growing frustration as I felt I wasn’t living up to expectations. I thought I didn’t have interesting things to share or any side projects to work on. Even if I did, I believed nobody would care. I suppose everyone using social media feels this way at some point, even though we know it’s not all perfect and we tend to view others through unrealistic lenses. I stopped enjoying Twitter and eventually removed the app from my phone. I did go back to it later. Coincidentally, it was when people I followed and admired began transitioning to Bluesky.
Jumping ahead, I have never released as many side projects as I did in late November and early December. There was a different vibe coming from this new platform, and my decision to be a producer instead of a consumer sparked an influx of ideas that I brought to life: theonesky, domainsanta.christmas, whatshouldiwear.fyi, Lazy Cook, and brainradio.fm. More importantly, I had a lot of fun working on them!
During the summer, taking my son outside to play was great. As soon as he started crawling, he became much more active and curious about exploring his surroundings. He truly brightens my every day! In September, my wife and child spent two weeks in Morocco visiting family, and I experienced my first time away from our son. I found myself crying on and off during the first couple of days. Eventually, I was able to enjoy some solo time, which I hadn’t had in a while.
After they returned from Morocco, our son started daycare. I think dropping him off on the first day was harder for me than it was for him, haha. He has grown so much in a year. Now I'm looking forward to the holidays, especially since my parents will be visiting us. It will be our first Christmas with (almost) the entire family together.
In summary, this past year has been a transformative journey marked by the joys and challenges of new parenthood. It emphasized the importance of documenting experiences, the value of family support, and the necessity of self-care to balance personal and professional life. Embracing vulnerability and seeking help proved essential during this period. I certainly had my share of shortcomings, which I will do my best to overcome in the new year.
For 2025, I have a few goals I want to accomplish: running a half-marathon, learning a new programming language (I've chosen Elixir) after a long while, attending Laracon for the first time, and working on more side projects. More importantly, I want to continue being there for my family and creating wonderful memories together.
Happy holidays! 🥂