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You ever see that scene, be in a TV show or a movie, where a baby falls, and then the mother picks up the child and holds them close and pets them on the head while telling them “it’s ok, it's ok. You're ok, it's fine, you're ok, it's ok”, even if the baby has no concept of what she's saying, what being ok means, or what she's trying to do.

Even if she's just doing it to get the child to stop crying or if it's to calm the baby down, since it's only a minor accident and the baby has no clue as to how easy it would be to fix. She does it to somewhat calm the baby down, because why would anyone want their close ones to feel pain, or to suffer, or to feel something they don't want to be feeling?

Now you might be asking where in going with this. I'm bringing this up because I've been doing that to myself for the past year. Not… not the petting part… the… the saying it's ok part. Specifically, the part where you say “it'll be ok”. Not, “it's fine”, not “it’s ok”. It'll. It will. It will be ok.

“It will”, meaning not right now, not in a little bit, but later. Later, it will be ok. Specifically, I like to say, in a year.

“In a year it'll be ok”, “you'll be fine in a year”, “it'll be fine in a year”. In a year. Not a week, not a month, but a year. A year is a good time between now and forever. A year is a time where many people can visualise what they'll be doing in. People trust one year so much that they make plans, make plans for what they'll be doing in a year; “what are we gonna do next Christmas”, “what are we gonna dress up as for next year's Halloween”, “I can't wait for our one year anniversary”.

Personally, I can't fathom what I'll be doing in a year. How do I know? I can't remember what I did last year. I couldn't tell you what I did for the entirety of last year, unless it was some big thing that lasted a long time, I wouldn't be able to tell you what I did, who I was with, or what I do with who. So if I can't remember what I did last year, I won't be able to remember what I did last November

So I think a year is the perfect amount of time to think forward to. It'll be ok, in a year. I won't remember this, in a year. All of this will be gone, in a year. And even if it doesn't, even if something worse happens in a year, even if I'm poor, homeless, no job, no friends. I still think it'll be better than it is now. Because I won't be thinking about this. I'll have other things to worry about. And whaddya know, maybe I'll be telling myself it'll be ok in a year, next year.

Maybe next year this little issue will be one of those thoughts that you keep in little boxes in the attic of your brain. You know, those little boxes that open themselves up right before you go to sleep, or right when you get in the shower. The little boxes that contain all the embarrassing things you did in class, or the times you got rejected, or the time you did something stupid in public. You know those little ones.

Some of them are hard to get into, to get the thoughts in their boxes. One of them took me three years to get in, but it happens. Even if it does take a while to get into its box, it does go there sometimes, like an Airbnb or something, and occasionally comes out when you look at something on the internet. But after a while, they stay there.

Or maybe it does get better, as it normally does. Maybe I'll forget about what happened and not even think about this. Either way, it works.

It's better to worry about a future that doesn't exist, than a future that doesn't change.

Well then the issue is if it doesn't change. If the same problem continues to bother me for a year, then that's a problem. And here's my little analogy for that:

Life is like a game, you've probably heard that before, but it's so much more than that. Even if you're awake, if you're asleep, you're still playing. Playing a game you can't get spoiled. Playing a game, trying to reach a goal of which you don't know the contents of.

Along the way, you get to face these little challenges, important or not, and you go through them one by one, while trying to get to the end of the game.

Unlike many games, this one is special. Most games let you skip certain challenges if they're not related to the story, unneeded for completion. The game will let you skip these, but not let you skip the ones that are important to the progression of the main quest.

Sadly, the game we play doesn't tell you which ones are important and which aren't. So you're there stuck trying to skip the ones you think aren't important, while also trying to accept the ones that you think are. All the way until you reach a certain section of the game, where you can't progress until you've completed a certain challenge.

Now, this is where the funny part comes in. This whole time, the most hilarious bit, the funny part, the kicker, the punchline, the hysterical part.

You've been playing a game, that you made, for yourself. You're the one telling yourself that you can't continue. This one issue, no matter how big or small, is stopping you, because you can't get over it.

It's not your fault, not at all, you're not to blame for the problems that you face. But nonetheless, you're still playing. You're still there unable to beat it. You're just there twiddling your thumbs being sad or heartbroken or depressed with the problem that you face, that doesn't let you progress.

So to go back. Yea. It'll be ok. It'll be fine. In a year.

We hope.